Energy, Anticipation, and all those other Sweet and Bubbly sticky things

I have this little breathing, excited, and palpable creation/person/or thing fueling me these days. When I manage to prove to myself that I'm capable of an infinite list of things, this creation breathes a little harder and its' heart beats a little faster. I can feel it growing and moving (no I'm not pregnant....) and I think this creation is what gives me the faith to believe that 2009 will really be two thousand and divine in my own personal history books. I don't know this creature's origin or purpose. I definitely don't know if this creation's life is meant to last for long but I'm excited regardless. This feeling of accomplishment makes my palms sweaty and my mouth all dry. I've been comfortable being uncomfortable for so long that I can't completely fathom what it would it be like for me to be euphorically successful. I'm growing in love with all the divine possibilities that could develop into my life. Am I really capable of being awake while I dream (live)? The fact that the answer to that question has more than a sliver of a chance of being yes gets me restless. My body literally reacts to these thoughts. As I type this my hands keep going to my knees to relieve them of their sweat. I feel like I want to run onto the sky or fall asleep and meet an old friend (who is most likely a fictional character). I wonder what this feeling is called because I am sure it cannot be contained, described, or understood by others in a single word.

Is this creature just me growing up? Maybe I'm finally (finally) harboring some self-esteem. Whatever it is I like it. 

Do you have any creatures of your own?

Where's the Outrage?!?

*Sigh*..........

It's no secret to me that the lives of white people are valued more than the lives of POC (people of color) in Society but that doesn't numb the stinging feeling I get whenever I see another example of this.

On Friday, September 26, the end of a week in which thousands of copies of Obsession: Radical Islam’s War Against the West — the fear-mongering, anti-Muslim documentary being distributed by the millions in swing states via DVDs inserted in major newspapers and through the U.S. mail — were distributed by mail in Ohio, a “chemical irritant” was sprayed through a window of the Islamic Society of Greater Dayton, where 300 people were gathered for a Ramadan prayer service. The room that the chemical was sprayed into was the room where babies and children were being kept while their mothers were engaged in prayers.

Huh, I'd really would love to hear why the Media hasn't been going ape shit crazy over this? This has obviously has a lot more to do with religion than race but I guess the victims of this weren't "American" enough to warrant attention. If this had been a Christian church being attacked by any other group this shit would be making laps around the media circle.

.....sigh

Other related posts
Muslim Children gassed in Ohio - but where's the outrage?
sdljawaxsd

School

School by shazie28 @ deviantart
(Anyone else reminded of Matilda?)

During summer break I did a whole lot nothing. The only productive thing I did was find new blogs and start blogging regularly. Wait, I take that back, August was the month I didn't do anything, during July I went to Summer School for g.10 math so that was productive. I was around some very smart people and since Math is not my strong point at all I was feeling less than stellar intelligence wise. Which isn't to say I was necessarily feeling sad, I just felt like "Okay, this is how it is. I'm not stupid, but I'll never be a genius or particularly intelligent". I know it's silly to compare myself to others but it's an old habit that tends to pop up into my mind at times. During August with this whole "not stupid/not a genius" rolling around in my head I started to doubt my abilities to write anything that isn't hot poo.

Then comes school, and because I refused to take any more sciences and I don't have 11 math 'till 2nd semester, I'm in love with all my classes. My brain is pumping and I'm getting excited about discussions I can bring to the table. I got my first World Religions assignment back on Friday. I got 80%, and lost most of my marks on communication. Barrett said he thinks my problem is that I think faster than I can type. He also said that he's impressed with my insight and thinks I'm one of the brightest students in his class(es).My reaction to that was --> :O/=D He has a policy that if he thinks the student tried and didn't rush the assignment that he'll let them re-write it, so hopefully the 2nd time around I can get a 90 something on that paper. In my English class we had to write a streamline of consciousness that stemmed from two short stories that we read. Myself and James (Minor) read ours in front of the class and the teacher liked what I wrote.

Compliments are awesome and are making me realize that maybe I don't suck as much as I think I do when it comes to school. Just don't talk to me about math. I think part of, or most of my fear comes from the fact that grade 6 was the last time I really put effort into school, so I'm worried that when I try and push myself with school that I'll end up with the same results that I've gotten academically for the last 4 years. I know that can't happen but the fear is still there, lurking in the back of my brain. I'm looking forward to the rest of the semester and I'm even looking forward to exams which is odd. Another thing I can't wait to do is a University road -trip. Since we are car free right now, we'd rent a car and myself and my mom would drive around looking at Universities I might apply to next year. My first choice right now would be to go to Ryerson for Journalism, other Universities I might apply to are Wilfred Laurier, Western, and Carleton.

For extra-curriculars I'm getting super excited about Stage Crew. Stage Crew is the behind the scenes people who do lighting, sound, design sets etc. for Westdale's plays and musicals. Stage Crew also includes doing costumes, make - up or being a stage ninja (the person dressed all in black moving stuff between scenes). So there's all these sub-categories and parts of crew that people can be a part of. For this year's musical, they're doing Cabaret and I'm trying to get myself into the costumes/stylist position for the musical. I want to try and learn about lighting and/or sound and do that stuff for the Sears Drama Festival. Then there's Classics which is my other major club that I'm in. I need to start getting my ass in action and start cross-stitching my projects (I'm doing 2) for this years' Conference. Umm, I'm also trying out for touch football and Rugby. I'm going to be a general member of Triune (student council), and SPA (students for political action), and if I find the time do yoga at a studio or at home. OH! And I want to try and go to Romania this summer for two weeks for a Journalism program, more on that later.

-Lady V

Dun dun dun......

Girl Walking Octopus by Barnaby Ward

School starts tomorrow. I'll be in grade 11. Time flies by so quickly. I still remember freaking out (just before grade 9) because homg Westdale is so big compared to Norwood and omg I'll get lost etc. Now it's time to stress about University choices and "What I Want To Do With The Rest Of My Life" (TM)

Value Village is having a 50% off sale tomorrow and I'm heading over before school to try and find some new clothes. I'm lucky that I'm in grade 11 because school doesn't start for me until noon so I have the chance to stop by VV in case you were wondering why I had the time.

Hmmmmm stillll no sign of the ever elusive camera charger. Push comes to shove I'll be able to start posting recent pictures of myself by mid September thanks to Amazon.com

I'm gonna run off now and watch some more Buffy while trying to pick something to wear tomorrow. Tata~