I have this little breathing, excited, and palpable creation/person/or thing fueling me these days. When I manage to prove to myself that I'm capable of an infinite list of things, this creation breathes a little harder and its' heart beats a little faster. I can feel it growing and moving (no I'm not pregnant....) and I think this creation is what gives me the faith to believe that 2009 will really be two thousand and divine in my own personal history books. I don't know this creature's origin or purpose. I definitely don't know if this creation's life is meant to last for long but I'm excited regardless. This feeling of accomplishment makes my palms sweaty and my mouth all dry. I've been comfortable being uncomfortable for so long that I can't completely fathom what it would it be like for me to be euphorically successful. I'm growing in love with all the divine possibilities that could develop into my life. Am I really capable of being awake while I dream (live)? The fact that the answer to that question has more than a sliver of a chance of being yes gets me restless. My body literally reacts to these thoughts. As I type this my hands keep going to my knees to relieve them of their sweat. I feel like I want to run onto the sky or fall asleep and meet an old friend (who is most likely a fictional character). I wonder what this feeling is called because I am sure it cannot be contained, described, or understood by others in a single word.
Is this creature just me growing up? Maybe I'm finally (finally) harboring some self-esteem. Whatever it is I like it.
Do you have any creatures of your own?
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