Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Where I've Been and What I've Been Thinking

This is a blog post detailing what I've been up to and my thoughts on some topics. I am going to continue to blog but I'm just not sure how yet. This blog post is an attempt to sort through my thoughts and to come to some conclusion of some sort. This post isn't going to be the most coherent or well organized and for that I apologize but I'm going to use my little corner of the internet to try and figure some things out.

I've been in Toronto since September trying to come to terms with being away from home and being surrounded by a plethora of confusing people. I'm a huge social hermit, which means that I'm a person who loves to talk (topics of the conversation can range from the latest episode of whichever trashy reality tv show I've become addicted to or the role of cultural appropriation plays in racism) but I also enjoy more than a healthy amount of time by myself. I like people but I only really talk to or hang around people I like (which is an obvious statement but since moving here I've seen an alarming amount of people who deliberately hang around people they don't like) and even then I really enjoy my time alone so I can sit around and contemplate the meaning of the universe.

First semester was a shit show of me trying to whip myself into academic shape (the success of this is debatable but I'm getting better at the very least) and dealing with being home sick and actually sick. I had a lovely bout of bronchitis that was nothing short of depressing. I'm growing and learning but that's besides the point. Actually first semester wasn't a complete shit fest but it was a harder than I thought it was going to be. I had been day dreaming about University for a long time and I had a fictitious and idealized version of what it would mean for me to move to this awesome city to enroll in my dream program. I've met some really cool people and I need to stop playing the role of observer and start participating in this thing called life.

I took a looong break from blogging because I didn't get the point anymore. I wasn't that into it to begin with and I always felt stupid posting pictures of myself and my outfits.

While I did stop writing, I didn't stop reading. Pretty much all day I've been lounging in my bed reading a lot of stupid things and getting pissed off about them. That actually reminds me of one of my classes, Intro to Reporting. For one class we had to write two short reports, on of which was about a conference at Ryerson that talked about sexism in the workplace.

During the panel we had to sit on to report on, I was interested in not only what was coming out of the panelists mouth but also what was going through my classmates heads. When we got back to class to start writing, our professor, the awesome and always amazing Dan (in the journalism program all of the professors go by their first names. It was EXTREMELY weird for me at first, I've always had to address adults a certain way and their first name was never one of them.) had us start a conversation. So at first we just went over the basics of who was there and what the point of the whole thing was. When we got to the "so what?" part is where I was really disappointed. Basically to summarize the majority conversation was that why were these old broads complaining, sexism is something guys never get away with these days, that one woman was bitter and probably hates men...

It was depressing as hell.

Hearing all these from people who are in the journalism program made me want to drop out and pursue a degree in accounting.

That's a complete cop-out though. And that's what I usually do, I cop out. Which isn't to say that I'm going to go out of my way to try and interact with idiotic people on the subjects of race, religion, and gender but I shouldn't completely disengage either.

Going through some of the rage inducing blog posts (such posts include, "why rape is the victim's fault" and "why it doesn't matter if I dress up like Pocahontas") I realized that I, for now, need to at least speak up. Also, there are a lot of smart people out there that I could learn a lot from. When I choose to not saying anything it's just as bad as agreeing with the guy who says all girls just need to not get raped. It's like when people shouldn't complain about politicians when they don't vote, when you don't vote you basically voted for whoever won right?

I used to envision this blog as possibly being a fashion blog even though I wouldn't admit it, and I think that's what my problem was. I had it in my mind that for me to blog I had to have a niche to fit into. This blog is going to become open hunting season for my thoughts. Sometimes those thoughts will be about my new pair of shoes and other times it'll be about gay people being homophobic.

I'm probably going to move this party over to wordpress and start blogging there. I don't think I'll ever be someone who blogs every day, I'm going to aim for 2 times a week instead. When I get really excited I might even post 3 times a week.

In the whole University thing, adjusting and growing to new and different things I forgot about why I came here in the first place. I came here to figure myself out, to get a degree, and to have fun while I'm busy growing up.

I feel at home here now (if you haven't but are planning on moving away for school do not refer to your new digs as home to your parents. "That's not your home, it's where you sleep! Your home is here with your family!") and I'm having fun while also indulging my reclusive tendencies. I think it's about time I start speaking up to.

5 comments:

transmission repair Pickering said...

oh ..exactly!
"Your home is here with your family!"
be strong..everything will be fine

skeletal models said...

oh..understand you as no one
the same situation
the time treats

photographers Toronto said...

yeah..there is the familiar history
but time is going..how are you today?

hardwood flooring Mississauga said...

I guess, no time for that

goingplacestrip said...

Amazing Posts...

----The only rules I dress by are my own----

Lady V ♥'s mail

I love hearing from new people, so feel free to email me at tuntra@gmail.com

The Lady

My Photo
Valentina= a 18 year old girl with an intense love for life, color and style. My family is my life and I’m having a torrid affair with television and loving every second of it. I like my school and I love my friends and I’m learning to love myself too. I love playing around with clothes but I haven’t found the patience yet to be able to keep up with actual fashion. This is a me blog where I’ll write about my life, my outfits and anything else that comes to mind. "It is absurd to divide people into good & bad. People are either charming or tedious." — Oscar Wilde)
The vast majority of the photos I use on this blog are not mine. Whenever possible I will credit photos but in some insistences this isn't possible. For example I have a collection of un-credited photos saved on my computer. So unless otherwise noted the photos on this blog are not mine. If you see an un-credited photo and it's yours (or you know who it belongs to) let me know so I can either take it down or give you credit.

Gizmos

Powered by Blogger.